someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
