I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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