So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
