Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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