It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
