Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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