I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
