how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
