Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
