woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
vagina is talking i cant
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
