No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
