i jhust puked up my retainher.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
