I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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