Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize