just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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