I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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