Pants 0. Shit 1.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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