what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
that's an acceptable place to lick
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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