Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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