the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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