that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
