he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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