Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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