It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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