1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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