She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize