what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
