You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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