I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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