Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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