you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
