Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
