covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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