I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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