you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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