oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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