I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
