Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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