dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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