We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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