I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
