so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
