Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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