I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
