It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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