Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
