YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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