I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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