YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
