Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
