You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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