ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
