ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
