so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
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