I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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