Are we in a gay sports bar?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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